Friendship Day .. over the years and for times to come

A measure of evolution ( ok, lets be not so harsh on the word .. yes agreed that we corrupt with age so evolution is a misplaced word but then so is maturity , growth on similar lines of reason, but for lack of words - evolution ) is the shade of reaction under the same stimuli over the years ..

So down those memory lanes faintly remember , that the first Sunday of August, which we label as Friendship day, held no meaning .. not because the radius of circle of friends around were zero but that it hardly mattered, every day was for friend , every day was special and the ritual of making any day different seemed so out of world ...... the clock clicked over the years and during the course of Teenage , it assumed the pivotal role around the pivotal purpose of life " the hunt for mate " ...which meant the day was the D-day ... to assess performance over the year and sometimes over the quarter and some times on more than one subject ... to find out how many birdies are bonded over and cross with me, arm in arm , to the other side of relationship, from just another guy to boy friend ... so that was both a test day and festival . which meant blowing away pocket money for gifts , scheming plans to woo over ... while this still continues ( they say men are always boys till they die ).. I am sure fiddling around would be thing of past some time in future ...giving way to having the best friend for life around.

Vacuum Really sucks

The first cut gushes out the stream of blood to a foreign environment- and that’s when it is the scariest most and post that blood gets used to it … “ yeah am flowing out .. going down the drains .. but so did the blood stream before me “ quips the “ not the first” stream of blood..

And as more blood oozes, the pain remains and mostly aggravates but then no one can take from the first stream the degree of scariness.

As I place myself in a quiet corner of quietest but extravagant restaurant in town when the city is maddening with celebration, meeting endless near and dear ones, exchanging wises and gifts, illuminating the sky with fireworks and adding to noise by choicest of firecrackers… the loner me , feels so left out. Yeah had been lonely but this is the first time when it is striking me so hard same way as when blood is let out … and am in pain, a terrible pain …

Next Diwali or next touch of this feeling might not be that painful and I hope that …. But the current one is just slicing me .. “ what’s the point of being through this ? “ , “ could I have avoided this ? “ , “ oh god! Have mercy , don’t pain me that much “ … “ am I through or is the degree of torment still left ? “ …

I am not answering these questions , and probably could not .. but am just not waking up to answer it .. am so much down with the pain ,, I know where it hurts, how it hurts, why it hurt but have surrendered to the inaction,, cant do much about it …

But then wait !! am I that deep in pain ? Definitely not , am probably enjoying what others are aspiring ..Freedom … treating myself at the best place.. this shows am not so helpless and I will fight back !!

Hope is a bastard. It doesn’t know which strand of DNA formulated it. Is it from the hopelessness all around or is from the hope that hopelessness all around, is at its tipping point.

Salsa fever grips . is it just a fad ?

5 visits to Salsa schools in a lazy Sunday !! Depositing over Rs 1000 as token amount in 3 of them !! and 10 calls to schools teaching Social Dances !!! There should be some seriousness to the thought that strayed in my mind last night.. so am off set to create a Latin world within me .. I can already feel the blood of Incas throbbing in my viens .. Am I the Latin soul trapped in an Indian Body ? Or Do I look from Amazon too ? Well I guess the one in my mind screams that I belong to Rain Forest .. Don't I dance like Samba dancers?, don't I love soccer when Indians just cant get out of Cricket?, don't I love coffee than tea?, don't I look half African ? Hell yes !! Dios Mio !! I have been keeping my mind and thoughts in dark for so long , I swear by the mighty Amazon, I will bring justice.. and so I booked my next 8 Sundays and Saturdays to the jubilation of this new found discovery .. to the way we celebrate in Latin world, by Salsa, jive and Cha-Cha...

Latino Mundo ... In the process of creating my Latin world

Bliss of Staying in Delhi

One country and 2 different worlds !! Delhi and Mumbai 2 vibrant mega cities of India and that is where the similarity ends. And people take time to adapt themselves if they move from one to another. My eyes almost glistened as I bid Mumbai adieu, at the Chatrapati Shivaji Airport .. with heavy heart and heavier luggage I plodded through the routine procedures and waited for the aircraft.. A blonde, in her late twenties, caught up conversation with me, from there to Delhi, chatting all the while, but I could hardly take myself out of the fact that I would hugely miss those vadapavs ( bread with smashed potatoes), local trains , the chatter, the night life, the incessant and unpredictable rains, Lonavala and the Ghats, and most importantly my buddies .....

I landed at Indira Gandhi Airport in Delhi and soon realized that as Shivaji would be name of every third road, airport, hospital . Indira-ji would be occupy the same pedestal in Delhi...

The first look outside Delhi was startling ... These weren't lanes, they were in fact mega highways from Mumbai standard, and the roads compared to Mumbai was smooth, looked lot deserted, the thinning traffic was quite bothering, instilling within the fear of being left alone .. and even though the vehicles plying were remarkably low, the animosity on road wasn't. Quite contrary to the brotherhood seen in Mumbai... there were honking, exchanging of stares that relayed message from " mind it " to " don't mess with me , am the king here" .....I reached my room at the hotel, tired and grieved and soon the day was all over .. Days went by now, Weeks passed and now its a month .. and as I discover Delhi .. I found that

a. It is the cultural capital internationally. Walk over to IGNCA, lalit kala academy, Habitat Center, and you could find a mini Sikkim , a mini Japan, a mini Germany or Brazil around.

b. Street Food is just awesome, could drive any one to finger licking.

c. Delhi is India's answer to Dubai, Singapore or Dallas in terms of public infrastructure.

d. If cops in Mumbai were greedy, the ones in Delhi are greedy and gangsters.

e. Delhi sleeps when bars in Mumbai open up.

You start conditioning yourself to sleep early because there is nothing else to do in those deserted, spectra wide roads, with abandoned food joints, with zero vehicle density, amidst the gangster cops... and this is one change that is slowly getting injected in me.. I am sleeping Early.

Footsteps on the shore

Walking away leaving those steps behind
those frail impressions etched on sand
the clock ticks - the wave rushes to shore
wasnt strong to hold the wave - the impressions live no more

The waves are rough -scream incessantly looking for brawls
demand complete surrender of whatever it marches across
and though it might sweep over those frail impressions by night & day
they could not win it all- for they could not swipe the memories away

( Will miss Mumbai and amazing friends that I had made here... Sayo nara)

The sound of Broken Dreams

Its over .. all over !!

Bombs and Blood all around ..

Shadows cast the ground ...

Am smoked, just keep collapsing at bay..

The picture of today painted yesterday..

looked so brighter

the hues were so merrier..

Darling its over .. its so all over !!

Promises which were sworn

are broken, and feelings are torn..

why you ditched and turned blind

confront my battered mind

I filled each moment with love it could just bear

and you swamped me with pain and tear

Its finally over, so much over !!

Mumbai Marathon( Jan-2011) - Different from rest and an awakening

Now with the turn of the new year , with less of performance commitment on radar and with the weather getting merrier .. the Corporate Marathon fever is back hitting the streets of Mumbai ...The barometer of registration shoots up- some of them infact due to heavy coaxing from Peers. With each closing day, the volumes are turning up, for this star studded event. One thing is for sure at Stan Chart Marathon - there is lot of Glitter in SC marathon .. It in fact has turned into ‘Shadowing Celebrity ‘marathon. Just have a look at the regulars for this marathon from Anil Ambani to sizzling Bipasha Basu to her beau – John Abraham, to 50-50 Dolly, to one match player Atul Wassan,..... it covers all, really covers all shades of Celebrities.

Having participated in the earlier version of this marathon - I recollect the vibes around. The mood of most here is more of brushing shoulders with the CEO and make the most of Elevator ( sorry marathon ) pitch, more to do with reconnecting and linking with the honchos for a Board membership position, more of catching a glimpse , managing a talk while walk with the skimppier struggling stars, carving out an an occasion to get to dine with the Filmstar .. ...

Not that these are ugliest thing in world but these are definitely hollow to your claim to be part of delivering the intended message for the marathon. The voices out of those marathon were – who the f*ck cares about those Kenyans( those kaaliyas are morons and blind to the Camera , very unlikely to be the media magnets, hence no point being in their league.) The crowd has a point. Who remembers the winners of these marathon all that survives in this mayhem is the sweaty T-shirt of the Page3 regular.

But negative attracts the negative and leaders with such corrupted intentions percolate the same downwards. So the ex- CIO lusts to meet the CEO , the VP designs to meet this sick CIO, the GM keeps his balls ( eyes , and rest) fixed to the VP, the Manager hopes to make the most by shadowing the GM.. and so on .. The whole team is running on an intention still riveted to the office and negativity (building and reaping favoritisms, devising politics) .

Examine more and you would find the best place to keep your foot on ground , to retain your sanity and not let you be carried away in this wave of ‘run for office politics’ , is to be part of marathon , to contribute to it , to deliver the message and at same time staying away from these materialistic mongers .. Be the behind the screens person, this marathon and make a difference. Be the Volunteer and wish that Sanity and Chastity ( SC) returns to these kind of events.

The new year eve - budget limited ... Celebration unlimited

Unplanned - Impromptu - new year celebration- "to derive the maximum out of lean budget" - 5 friends- various back ground - one common thread- " outcast" - stuff bags with pair of clothes and random stuff - which included Pain balm ( for no damn reasons) , Listerene but no toothpaste / brushes- hitch hiking - caught in traffic jam - give up hitch hiking mid way - totally unaware on where are we and how to continue - manage to understand the local language - arrange for a cab and pack ourselves in - a driver under the " influence", who would listen to nothing and cant keep his feet off the accelerator, cant stop boasting about girls he laid , cant stop even for a Pee !! , - half of the journey 4 guys in back and one in front are just holding on to their breath and their life , with each SUV roaring from the other side - our driver would make a point to just keep off from kissing that huge beast , from just scraping it, ..... half of the journey gone , roads are less crowded , its all dark , occasionally lit by a village or by a temple, .. the beauty unfolds, roads with coconut trees on either side , with mountain on one and sea on other side ... the road just divides mountain and sea .. best of 2 world at cost of one , the waves are roaring , announcing the tide, the cold wind from the mountains making their presence felt, .. and from the mountain to the sea is a strip of jungle, a thick jungle , the only insignificant thing coul be the Indica cruising in the patchy road of the jungle.... but fear has transformed to admiration , to the awe, to the serenity ... land at Kashid - our place of revellery for the new year eve- No accommodation - as no plans , lucky enough to get a room facing the beach, have homely food, pay a trifle for the feast , the whisky and beers are out ,, move to beach, light a bonfire , sometimes we pour kerosene sometimes whisky ... waves , whisky & wind a deadly combination, we laugh for no reasons , huddle , fight, run, jump, dance, kick, push ...and watch the handshake --- old year giving way to new, we jump merrily .. the old year is gone, who cares about the new year ... all we think about is the moment ... cant let it slip from hands, we keep drinking, jumping, dancing, laughing, ... lie down to see sky lit with stars , very bright stars .. and wind still roaring .. bonfire giving us just the needed warmth to not to freeze... the sand is white , the beach is clean and deserted ... miles of dark sea .. which keeps on growling, we fall asleep to be woken by other ... keep on sipping the whisky ..even the bonfire gets the doses of whisky some times... Its 3 in the night and we retire to room... It has been almost a year since we have been in that beach :)

Love or Hope ... who cares

Love...... Love..... Love
Hope...... Hope ..... Hope

I walked a lone journey
unexplored and loaded with thorns
relentless efforts to keep plodding
sagas of pain nd failure unfold
and with no caring hand to hold

It was dark, unguided long road
sometimes leading to pit and some to cliff
legs now ache, sights fade
hear nothing but only the heart sinking, throat getting dry
sense desert, confidence shatters and world goes awry

Eyes begin to droop to weight of despair
when it is just 'over and out'
spark of hope fights the world of dark
tiny but the only rebellious piece
still fights on and returns my world of peace

Some say it was all love in that hope
Some all hope in that love

Love gets Hope

Hope gets Love

Beyond this who really cares

Poor Shayri 29th june

This is due to emotional atyachaar of waiting for the Increment letter post evaluation

Roz Roz karein hum Letter ka intezaaar
Work load tolerate karlete hain .. aur hanste hue khaa lete hain maar
Isi umeed mein ki increment laga degi hamare beda paaar
Lekin jab aati hai who kambakth letter, dil ke tukde ho jaate hain hazaaar
Kyun majaak udate ho hum garibon ka baar baar ???


Roz Roz karein hum letter ka ab kyun intezaar ??
Jab sang ho VAT 69 , Bagpiper soda aur dost Chaar
Naukri mein resume daal diyaa hai ab ho jayenge sab sapne saakaar
Dil cheekhe “ aisi company ki humein ab nahi darkaar….
Humse hai duniya yehi hai lalkaar
Ab na karenge hum letter ka intezaar

Poor Shayri of the day

Inspired by office torture

 

Kadwaa hai woh: na kare baath meethi

Kadwaa hai who: nah kare baath meethi

President hai who: Corp services ka Naam hai Rajan Sethi

 

 

Nirantar tadpaye woh… savere se sham aur sham se savere

Nirantar tadpaye woh… savere se sham aur sham se savere

Pareshaan ho jaate hain bechare  Suman aur Shyam Bhamare

 

 

Compiled by anonymous

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Finding a way through

the road is an obstacle... the obstacle is the road

Bye Bye Reliance ADAG

As my tenure with Reliance ADAG approaches the end, the emotions wrapping around has shades similar when I left Tata Consultancy Services, in summer of 2007. Undeniably there are comparisons:

• I joined both these organizations, from campus. So I carried the carefree attitude of a student and walked in the board room with a set of friends with whom you had shared late night Maggie or gulped mugs of coffee and shared stories before. There was a companionship and support structure with you when you enter the gates the new world. The platform where you were before joining the organization and set up you need to get geared to are same for all these campus hirees, so the degree and steps of adjustment are same, example living together again in same or near by apartments, the same mode of commute, the same period of shopping spree and lot others.


• Both of these organizations are conglomerates, so huge, so much so that, even a set of 200 campus hirees could get lost and its becomes difficult to be pin pointed, your group becomes your camouflage. One refers to you as MT ( Management Trainee) or GET ( Graduate Engineer Trainee) or simply Trainee. You are given space of time and comfort, nursed and treated with series of programs to help you assimilate to main stream.
  The noise and color of excitement level, when 200+ invade offices straight from campus is so vibrant. The rest of world looks on with curious eyes and sometimes with eyes of interest.

So I move on to take the first step of my corporate life, to move from one organization to other rather than a campus. I think, Change is inevitable and 6 years after graduating from REC Trichy, it is too late an experience. As I leave Reliance, I look back to those times when I had been cribbing about the culture and work ethos, quite a similar way to which I had done at TCS, also the lack of opportunities and grooming but also losing a set of close buddies who made the journey look so beautiful and memorable.
But this is inevitable and confrontation is the best way forward, so “Keep walking - Move on “

"Missed me" - Song

They say lose it to gain it ... same goes for love..
get bruised .. get the pains .. to relish the sweetness...
This poem is for those who miss their beloved ones and who are on their return path
for you always return back at least once to those you love..
********************************************************************************

Life is a cyclone
Minus you
I am all alone
without a glimpse of you

Seconds are spread across mile
If I cant find you
Jokes are without " the cute" smile
If I cant share that with you

Wish you cared
how much I missed you
Wish you wondered
how much I felt for you

World wont have been dear
Had it not been for you
I was a stranger in my mirror
But only for you

I always dreamt
I was beside you
I always thought
I walked along you

What was it that hurt
And I still cant blame you
What caused love fall apart
And I still dont wish to realise it was you

For you .. and it was only you ..
who awakened me to what was love

and then again it was you

who has filled my waiting eyes with love

Love ....

a sweet bitter thing called Love ..

a roller coaster ride called Love ...

Find it .. lose it .. and find it not to let it go....

and call it LOVE

Poor Song gets poorer

Poor song for those who stay in house, lock them up, are stingy and just not like the vagabonds ( including me )
=================================================================
It is such a wicked thing to do
to spend your youth in home and loo

Arise , Awake Mr. Singh
and realise that life is to sing
to spread a smile
and walk a mile
than confine
and shrugg to dine

out and hard, coz you misthink
that it would stink
if you dont hoard money
for your dreams and honey

But do you realise
that these long life filled with years is small in size
so it should be filled with smiles and fun
and not with the tension gun

Dont be the busy bee
or the caged poddling of the pea
Kill the inner Lust
Get out, explore, and dont just rust

Stocks withers..... Love Blossoms ..

The best part of year 2008 is that its over..

The year that saw catastrophes like 158 year old Investment Bank Lehman Brothers going bankrupt, once booming bank like northen rock left with begging bowl and some lucky ones like Bear Sterns humilated in their rescue by governmental efforts. It also saw commotions like ascent and then descent of oil prices, housing prices going south , spiralling Inflation just to stop at a bigger devil of stagflation and deflation, a dent in boominig economies like China and India ( layoffs, companies closing down) and even unrests like sponsored terror by Porkistan ( mumbai attacks). So in one word.. year 2008 ... should be forgettable and if remembered it was only for recession when everything was going wrong.. Well did everything went wrong ??

Yeah the Stocks withered and national stock exchanges had to be closed more often than usually done.. and office goers had the axe of uncertainity hanging right over their neck by silken twig..
well but infact that created an environment which bred love ...

Employees ..mostly with reference to Indian IT sector who had become more demanding and had very low breakeven point for attrition suddenly lost their mobility. The stickiness to job came not because they loved what they were doing inside but because they hated more to be outside... Inside even if you were a dog ,, you were paid and thats more than enough in these troubled times..

This meant that there were few faces fading away with resignation mails. this meant that for people like me .. the girls whom we (romeos) eye.. were in our radar for a longer time..
more time to eye.. more time to catch a glance... more time to spread a smile.. more time to recieve the forwn... more time to stare again . more time to spread a smile.. more time to wait for the smile back... more time for a coffee together ... more time to walk beside the lake .. more time to talk .. more time to come closer .. more time to be in the path to start the new life..

I discovered that MANkind knew this phillosophy right from their inception and started practising this as soon the recession blossomed.. so the recent months have seen lots of love birds in the campus and outside... more tied to each other for fear of not getting another than for love of each other.. Recession has done one great job .. it has created an environment to help ripen love..

Random Judgement

The only thing that is predictable is unpredictableness - this could well sum the jist that

Randomness reins and rules

Right from the genesis of world, where determinism is facing a recognisation crisis -to the science that we know now as science - to the belief that tomorrow we would see the sun rise from east .. all events are unpredictable..
Clearly Aristotle would have believed that Earth is Flat , only to be proved wrong by the Rennaisance age rebel thinkers , who denounced the Catholic belief and declared " Earth is round" ..
Aristotle and Greek phillosophers voices were ebbed only to be revived but by economist of todays who proclaim that with Globalisation Earth is Flat.. so we are at what we were .. but we have been in a roller coster ride more like a sine wave ...
this is the power of science and human limitation .. we are and all our thoughts are so much UNPREDICTABLE ..
What else is predictable ?? Lets examine their truthness and sanctity ..
Google "predictable" and you would land up in the POP band from Australia with similar name rather than events which could be classified remotely as PREDICTABLE ..
so why is then the Fuss over how things should be tomorrow leave alone talks of when one is 60 or so ??
Why cant the idea of living in present and learning from past be the sufficient qualifying conditions ???

Well one Accounting Genius says .. that predictable things exist and they are ones which are PRACTICAL .. :) so the obvious question would be then what is PRACTICAL ??
simple .. things which are predictable !!! ( hair pulling definitions )

So you see all those who keep on barking on why some are not predictable could take a lesson on how he/ she is in state of oblivion ...

Ever confused ...
Suman

POOR Song ( a tribute to all those fellas who should never pen a poem)

We all are poets .. the question is how good..
but as usual .. I damn care about the other million peoples wishes and do what it needs to be done .. do what I think should be done .. so here is the poem dedicated to me :)

Penned it when I was on a terrific academic form ( scoring lowest marks) at college
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I am going nowhere, lost in the thoughts and lost in translation
the winds blowing so strong feels that am loosing the ground
with shaky feet I tread on the road so desolate with faces all frowned
the vision gets blurred with every hour,the beats get dimmer faster than I could hold
I shout I scream and cry for the guidance
the voice still seems to get lost in hollowness enveloped
scarred to tread myslefwith chains so heavy wrapped around and lofty spirits forced to ground
pulling me inwards softly whispers the voices aloud
I cry and now I know this is not the way I want things to end
So i bury myself while the rest are dancing around
and then come out loud and strong
promise myself that i would sort the things and break apart from the mound
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
sounds crazy but it always has to be crazy to make it look apart

Alumni meet: Meeting in PRESENT with the PAST to decide the FUTURE

Being at cross roads of Time is always interesting .. like dreaming about how things would change at your graduation day at the first day in your college , or how YOUR kids would look like when you have just started dating your ( or some one else) girl friend .. or for that matter enjoying the deja-vu when you watch kids playing in rain and wished that you could return to the careless world , long to drive the time machine in reverse gear and be with same set of friends.....Sadly Science has taken a back seat in this case.. its all the mind game when it comes to meeting the time at its various stages..

so trying to brush the crap aside.. Last week ( well almost the last ) , we had this Alumni meet
" thrown" at us.. The first impression when we got the news from the 2nd (.. wait .. 3rd .. no no .. 4th )hand about Alumni meet @ SPJCM @ mumbai was Unplanned, Rushed in and a meeting befitting the underworld for it was so much hidden and less known about..

Call it being jobless and almost useless after my office hours, call it the lust for free booze, call it the meet to know profs in a decorumless environment and call it meet to meet some special bunch of old friends who bore the torture at campus with me for a year ... it was all that

Plus I was not at home cooking (thatz the most sensible thing I do after work) making some one else's dinner one more time pathetic...

So Steeeled was I in for the meet that the pouring super rains could not deter me ..at same time .. one of my good hearted friends was kind enough 2 let me hop in along with him in his car for the meet.. After this event .. Almost evry odd obstacle fell apart..

I need not worry about the turn out at the event for I had atleast a company of 4 ( that many ppl were in the car), no more worries on ruining my new shoes in rain or hopping around cabs/trains/buses to reach the place.

At the end, I felt, the meet would have been worth even with these obstacles. The meet was plain .. devoid of glitz which normally accompanies Alumni meet .. less of borrowed/imported good looking girls on stage( in fact there was no stage .. the room was small ..akin to what we see in TV .. the ideal meeting room for Revolutionaries.. small .. chairs all around .. and less of windows or glassy doors). The only thing that would widen your lips was the sight of Carlsberg.
But the fun was more than that .. I reconnected with my old friends.. friends who were limited to few lines on chat windows.. .friends boxed in adress book .. whom I never called just because I didnt knew what to talk .. friends who were around while I was hunting for them in all scientific manners.. The meetz focus revolved around future of college and how alumni could do and should do things.. it was quite a realisation ( and special thanks to Carlsberg for that) to find that indeed I had done a Time machine ride..

Being with old friends, now , to talk about our future..
What a Cross Road Sirjiii !!!

Piss off

The other night i was still in a 3 hour long meeting and could not leave the board room coz business means business but then there are something of unquestioned priority. A call of nature ( pissing off) is just one of them. tried to capture my feelings when submission to that evoked poetic feelings within me.
=================================================================
So Strong you cant thrust
Emotions gets metamorphosised
The body sinks and relives
With pulses of sanity paralysed

Eager to lose
To let it go from you
Coz losing now means winning
Wininng yourself for you

Heads scream out
Thoughts catch fire
Buckle seems unbearable and
Actions go haywire

At the end when it wins over
For surely it will, you die or breathe
The storm inside exults out
Dishonoring you with the tiny watery wreath

=======================================================
doesnt rhyme , sound great but who bothers about it when you are in that state.