Friendship Day .. over the years and for times to come

A measure of evolution ( ok, lets be not so harsh on the word .. yes agreed that we corrupt with age so evolution is a misplaced word but then so is maturity , growth on similar lines of reason, but for lack of words - evolution ) is the shade of reaction under the same stimuli over the years ..

So down those memory lanes faintly remember , that the first Sunday of August, which we label as Friendship day, held no meaning .. not because the radius of circle of friends around were zero but that it hardly mattered, every day was for friend , every day was special and the ritual of making any day different seemed so out of world ...... the clock clicked over the years and during the course of Teenage , it assumed the pivotal role around the pivotal purpose of life " the hunt for mate " ...which meant the day was the D-day ... to assess performance over the year and sometimes over the quarter and some times on more than one subject ... to find out how many birdies are bonded over and cross with me, arm in arm , to the other side of relationship, from just another guy to boy friend ... so that was both a test day and festival . which meant blowing away pocket money for gifts , scheming plans to woo over ... while this still continues ( they say men are always boys till they die ).. I am sure fiddling around would be thing of past some time in future ...giving way to having the best friend for life around.

Vacuum Really sucks

The first cut gushes out the stream of blood to a foreign environment- and that’s when it is the scariest most and post that blood gets used to it … “ yeah am flowing out .. going down the drains .. but so did the blood stream before me “ quips the “ not the first” stream of blood..

And as more blood oozes, the pain remains and mostly aggravates but then no one can take from the first stream the degree of scariness.

As I place myself in a quiet corner of quietest but extravagant restaurant in town when the city is maddening with celebration, meeting endless near and dear ones, exchanging wises and gifts, illuminating the sky with fireworks and adding to noise by choicest of firecrackers… the loner me , feels so left out. Yeah had been lonely but this is the first time when it is striking me so hard same way as when blood is let out … and am in pain, a terrible pain …

Next Diwali or next touch of this feeling might not be that painful and I hope that …. But the current one is just slicing me .. “ what’s the point of being through this ? “ , “ could I have avoided this ? “ , “ oh god! Have mercy , don’t pain me that much “ … “ am I through or is the degree of torment still left ? “ …

I am not answering these questions , and probably could not .. but am just not waking up to answer it .. am so much down with the pain ,, I know where it hurts, how it hurts, why it hurt but have surrendered to the inaction,, cant do much about it …

But then wait !! am I that deep in pain ? Definitely not , am probably enjoying what others are aspiring ..Freedom … treating myself at the best place.. this shows am not so helpless and I will fight back !!

Hope is a bastard. It doesn’t know which strand of DNA formulated it. Is it from the hopelessness all around or is from the hope that hopelessness all around, is at its tipping point.

Salsa fever grips . is it just a fad ?

5 visits to Salsa schools in a lazy Sunday !! Depositing over Rs 1000 as token amount in 3 of them !! and 10 calls to schools teaching Social Dances !!! There should be some seriousness to the thought that strayed in my mind last night.. so am off set to create a Latin world within me .. I can already feel the blood of Incas throbbing in my viens .. Am I the Latin soul trapped in an Indian Body ? Or Do I look from Amazon too ? Well I guess the one in my mind screams that I belong to Rain Forest .. Don't I dance like Samba dancers?, don't I love soccer when Indians just cant get out of Cricket?, don't I love coffee than tea?, don't I look half African ? Hell yes !! Dios Mio !! I have been keeping my mind and thoughts in dark for so long , I swear by the mighty Amazon, I will bring justice.. and so I booked my next 8 Sundays and Saturdays to the jubilation of this new found discovery .. to the way we celebrate in Latin world, by Salsa, jive and Cha-Cha...

Latino Mundo ... In the process of creating my Latin world

Bliss of Staying in Delhi

One country and 2 different worlds !! Delhi and Mumbai 2 vibrant mega cities of India and that is where the similarity ends. And people take time to adapt themselves if they move from one to another. My eyes almost glistened as I bid Mumbai adieu, at the Chatrapati Shivaji Airport .. with heavy heart and heavier luggage I plodded through the routine procedures and waited for the aircraft.. A blonde, in her late twenties, caught up conversation with me, from there to Delhi, chatting all the while, but I could hardly take myself out of the fact that I would hugely miss those vadapavs ( bread with smashed potatoes), local trains , the chatter, the night life, the incessant and unpredictable rains, Lonavala and the Ghats, and most importantly my buddies .....

I landed at Indira Gandhi Airport in Delhi and soon realized that as Shivaji would be name of every third road, airport, hospital . Indira-ji would be occupy the same pedestal in Delhi...

The first look outside Delhi was startling ... These weren't lanes, they were in fact mega highways from Mumbai standard, and the roads compared to Mumbai was smooth, looked lot deserted, the thinning traffic was quite bothering, instilling within the fear of being left alone .. and even though the vehicles plying were remarkably low, the animosity on road wasn't. Quite contrary to the brotherhood seen in Mumbai... there were honking, exchanging of stares that relayed message from " mind it " to " don't mess with me , am the king here" .....I reached my room at the hotel, tired and grieved and soon the day was all over .. Days went by now, Weeks passed and now its a month .. and as I discover Delhi .. I found that

a. It is the cultural capital internationally. Walk over to IGNCA, lalit kala academy, Habitat Center, and you could find a mini Sikkim , a mini Japan, a mini Germany or Brazil around.

b. Street Food is just awesome, could drive any one to finger licking.

c. Delhi is India's answer to Dubai, Singapore or Dallas in terms of public infrastructure.

d. If cops in Mumbai were greedy, the ones in Delhi are greedy and gangsters.

e. Delhi sleeps when bars in Mumbai open up.

You start conditioning yourself to sleep early because there is nothing else to do in those deserted, spectra wide roads, with abandoned food joints, with zero vehicle density, amidst the gangster cops... and this is one change that is slowly getting injected in me.. I am sleeping Early.

Footsteps on the shore

Walking away leaving those steps behind
those frail impressions etched on sand
the clock ticks - the wave rushes to shore
wasnt strong to hold the wave - the impressions live no more

The waves are rough -scream incessantly looking for brawls
demand complete surrender of whatever it marches across
and though it might sweep over those frail impressions by night & day
they could not win it all- for they could not swipe the memories away

( Will miss Mumbai and amazing friends that I had made here... Sayo nara)

The sound of Broken Dreams

Its over .. all over !!

Bombs and Blood all around ..

Shadows cast the ground ...

Am smoked, just keep collapsing at bay..

The picture of today painted yesterday..

looked so brighter

the hues were so merrier..

Darling its over .. its so all over !!

Promises which were sworn

are broken, and feelings are torn..

why you ditched and turned blind

confront my battered mind

I filled each moment with love it could just bear

and you swamped me with pain and tear

Its finally over, so much over !!

Mumbai Marathon( Jan-2011) - Different from rest and an awakening

Now with the turn of the new year , with less of performance commitment on radar and with the weather getting merrier .. the Corporate Marathon fever is back hitting the streets of Mumbai ...The barometer of registration shoots up- some of them infact due to heavy coaxing from Peers. With each closing day, the volumes are turning up, for this star studded event. One thing is for sure at Stan Chart Marathon - there is lot of Glitter in SC marathon .. It in fact has turned into ‘Shadowing Celebrity ‘marathon. Just have a look at the regulars for this marathon from Anil Ambani to sizzling Bipasha Basu to her beau – John Abraham, to 50-50 Dolly, to one match player Atul Wassan,..... it covers all, really covers all shades of Celebrities.

Having participated in the earlier version of this marathon - I recollect the vibes around. The mood of most here is more of brushing shoulders with the CEO and make the most of Elevator ( sorry marathon ) pitch, more to do with reconnecting and linking with the honchos for a Board membership position, more of catching a glimpse , managing a talk while walk with the skimppier struggling stars, carving out an an occasion to get to dine with the Filmstar .. ...

Not that these are ugliest thing in world but these are definitely hollow to your claim to be part of delivering the intended message for the marathon. The voices out of those marathon were – who the f*ck cares about those Kenyans( those kaaliyas are morons and blind to the Camera , very unlikely to be the media magnets, hence no point being in their league.) The crowd has a point. Who remembers the winners of these marathon all that survives in this mayhem is the sweaty T-shirt of the Page3 regular.

But negative attracts the negative and leaders with such corrupted intentions percolate the same downwards. So the ex- CIO lusts to meet the CEO , the VP designs to meet this sick CIO, the GM keeps his balls ( eyes , and rest) fixed to the VP, the Manager hopes to make the most by shadowing the GM.. and so on .. The whole team is running on an intention still riveted to the office and negativity (building and reaping favoritisms, devising politics) .

Examine more and you would find the best place to keep your foot on ground , to retain your sanity and not let you be carried away in this wave of ‘run for office politics’ , is to be part of marathon , to contribute to it , to deliver the message and at same time staying away from these materialistic mongers .. Be the behind the screens person, this marathon and make a difference. Be the Volunteer and wish that Sanity and Chastity ( SC) returns to these kind of events.

The new year eve - budget limited ... Celebration unlimited

Unplanned - Impromptu - new year celebration- "to derive the maximum out of lean budget" - 5 friends- various back ground - one common thread- " outcast" - stuff bags with pair of clothes and random stuff - which included Pain balm ( for no damn reasons) , Listerene but no toothpaste / brushes- hitch hiking - caught in traffic jam - give up hitch hiking mid way - totally unaware on where are we and how to continue - manage to understand the local language - arrange for a cab and pack ourselves in - a driver under the " influence", who would listen to nothing and cant keep his feet off the accelerator, cant stop boasting about girls he laid , cant stop even for a Pee !! , - half of the journey 4 guys in back and one in front are just holding on to their breath and their life , with each SUV roaring from the other side - our driver would make a point to just keep off from kissing that huge beast , from just scraping it, ..... half of the journey gone , roads are less crowded , its all dark , occasionally lit by a village or by a temple, .. the beauty unfolds, roads with coconut trees on either side , with mountain on one and sea on other side ... the road just divides mountain and sea .. best of 2 world at cost of one , the waves are roaring , announcing the tide, the cold wind from the mountains making their presence felt, .. and from the mountain to the sea is a strip of jungle, a thick jungle , the only insignificant thing coul be the Indica cruising in the patchy road of the jungle.... but fear has transformed to admiration , to the awe, to the serenity ... land at Kashid - our place of revellery for the new year eve- No accommodation - as no plans , lucky enough to get a room facing the beach, have homely food, pay a trifle for the feast , the whisky and beers are out ,, move to beach, light a bonfire , sometimes we pour kerosene sometimes whisky ... waves , whisky & wind a deadly combination, we laugh for no reasons , huddle , fight, run, jump, dance, kick, push ...and watch the handshake --- old year giving way to new, we jump merrily .. the old year is gone, who cares about the new year ... all we think about is the moment ... cant let it slip from hands, we keep drinking, jumping, dancing, laughing, ... lie down to see sky lit with stars , very bright stars .. and wind still roaring .. bonfire giving us just the needed warmth to not to freeze... the sand is white , the beach is clean and deserted ... miles of dark sea .. which keeps on growling, we fall asleep to be woken by other ... keep on sipping the whisky ..even the bonfire gets the doses of whisky some times... Its 3 in the night and we retire to room... It has been almost a year since we have been in that beach :)