Itz HOLI again , so Grasses are Blue and Skies are Green :)

March 23, 2008: It was the same piercing sun rays which stung me up from slumber and I grumbled, moaned, cuddled, balled, kicked and then jumped out of bed. This was the way it had been happening since last few days as we had a week off here at SPJCM.

I just looked up to those murderous sun rays, but it was welcoming. Things at least looked different today. The rains were uninvited, unwelcome and dampening ( woww, what else could you expect out of them) since they had been ruling here for couple of weeks. It took time for me to realize that this was not the morning but after noon and today was Sunday when the canteen has something special – The chicken Biryani.

I wasted no time and botherations, so I headed straight for a shower and was all ready to have my lunch which I had been skipping so often these days. I “escalated” down ….and “ferraried” to canteen when the world suddenly turned “red” for me. Moments later, I got to know that I have been hit by, the very first, dose of “gulaal”. It was HOLI !!! and it was being celebrated here in Singapore. I was dragged to its epicenter. Small by looks, but deceptive, it was a 20X10 foot and dug 6 feet down, this place looked a miniature Coliseum where gladiators would fight in ancient Rome.
But this was no Rome, it was India far away from its shores. The mood looked “HOLI-sh” aka “Vagabond-ish”. The stage was decorated with mud, sweets, "pakoraas","thandaai”( Indian sweet drink) and most importantly buoyant familiar unfamiliar( no one looked the same as they were looking then) faces.

The mood was upswing, so I was tossed and brought down into the mud, a gorgeous welcome indeed. So I was now baptized HOLI reveler with mud all across and I was one of their men. This was the beginning, what followed later was group madness, with most of us getting engrossed in hysterical laughing and enjoying the mud bashing, occasionally intervened by sweets and “thandaai”. I remember the last time I had HOLI in Mumbai, and I was not able to remember much, blame the “thandaai”:) . This one was memorable too. The mirth was catchy and soon we saw crowd submitting to the madness, Well BONDING was working overtime and I saw in the ensuing madness to escape to the saner world. Hearts down—I was still immersed in thought- it would be tough to uproot again but as they say “The grief of separation is inseparable”, I am sure this HOLI would be tough to forget as had been the earlier ones.

Mirage of Nostalgia ?

Like it or not .. I could now hear the footsteps of nostalgia approaching towards me ..

I huddle, I close my eyes.. pretend to avoid it

I remember the older times to over ride the recent past - and its nostalgia

I run away from it - looking for times ahead to come ..

But however hard I try the noise seems to get louder and louder and then intrudes my space

Yeah the nostalgia has finally made in roads .. etched my memories... well i never expected or rather wanted this last year to do more than what it is promised.

The last year ( was it even a year ?) has witnessed a flury of events.. the journey seems to be littered by memories you cant just brush aside..Here are few of them

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  The annealing of close buddies


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  This is interesting : I forgot getting ECNR done and get this NIRVANA when am at the Q to board the plane to Dubai - had to rush to get it done- book tickets and travel to Dubai all alone


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  The airport at Dubai - the first look at it and you are floored .. but am not even enjoying it since I am absorbed in deciding whether to go to hostel or to college - remember am all alone in the journey


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  Land in the hostel only to find that my room has been swapped


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  Wake my roomies at unearthly 4 in morning then rush for college at 7 in morning


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  The induction and intorduction was pathetically boring and I was really distressed


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  The first brush with what was going to last forever - the " herd mentality" on way we did our readings and also on how we tackled assignments


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  The uninvited class representatives


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  The marketing assignments where we did less and less with more and more


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  The funny quizzes


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  The frenzy of cheating


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  The birthday bumps


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  The monoolized market of ghasitaram is brought to an end by Skylers and then series of new caterers and then all collapse


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  The eateries nearby


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  The barren land of Dubai with man made beauties


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  The SGP - a truly global one -- did the business entry plan for a company based in malaysia in dubai market with indian team members and chinese mentor( who was based in singapore)


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  The torture en-route to collegge ( am talking about the bus ride) - the problem with timings, drivers, schedules, numbers and accomadation


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  The best part of Dubai - meeting a fellow indian/pakistani cab driver and travelling along with him


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  The other half of story begins in singapore -- for IT its more likely to be over then


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  For IT - singapore was never a part of curicullum - we hardly had classes


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  The "firaang" prof and how we shamelesslly cheated - then stood by our rogue gang to beat the existence of honesty


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  ERP vs BPR -- The biggest confusion.. who is who ? Some one blurted out answers of ERP for a BPR question


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  Something like IT strategy dawned to us and we could go nothing beyong mugging up details


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  The placement nausea --the preparations for the same .. LOSE LOSE situation


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  The placement week -- horrors maginified


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  The final YES


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  Coming back to form


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  Safari- Zoo- Sentosa- Reverse bungee and list is still populating ........

Talking motivation is cheap, because supply exeeds demand

Motivation is the most widely exploited and abused noun in the B school Campus. "Motivation can help you scale the greatness...." , " Motivation is the savior for companies filing chapter 11" .. "Motivation differentiates men from boys".... and on and on..

We see this word popping out of the unprepared teachers and ,fillers or nervous punch liners, for students who are, jostled up from their day dreaming, to answer any random question/debate being discussed in class. Surprisingly there has been no element of surprise in these magic word laden , weary sentences ,being applauded all the time.

I had watched this word with mysticism, awestruck, as much as ( quoting Siddhu) " A kid in topless bar" , and could not fathom the hollowness ( read depth) of this impostor ( I mean the word " Motivation")

So, I am here at one of the most conflicting events in the GMBA history. After months and months of imposed laziness, ( we had holidays for more than 3 months now), the IT batch is being dictated to be caged in 4 walls ( and of course leaky stingy ceiling) of LC1 and LC2 for rigorous 10 hour/day class ..and this is the time when I am missing the word , I am used to hear so much, but never beleived in its credetials or even itz existence. Yes, you guessed it right... its the word "Motivation" . And as all staunchest of atheist ditch their camp in bad times to turn to "till then non existent--- GOD" , I am also loooking for the divine MOTIVATION.... to help me break from the shackles of laziness to the rigor possesed by the Finance Batch- who claim to be busy in classes 24 * 365 .

But however hard i might try to pray for it ...the "darshaan" of MOTIVATION has not been there ...and the wait continues ....

Koffee with Suman

There is something mystic in Koffee - no its not the aroma or the taste or the brand by which it sells - its the history that envelopes it. Time and again - this bitter berry has been in limelight for instigating and provoking thoughts which have stopped time - made a mark and then allowed the almighty time to roll on.
Look back and you would find incidents like

1. The shutting down of Coffee shop at College street in Calcutta because it was turning out to be an amalgamation for rebellion . This coffee joint was hanuted by
Subhash Bose, Rabindranath Tagore and revolutionaries.
2. This place turned out to be churning out eminent writers and poets, when it reopened. Satyajit Ray, Manna Dey, Mrinal Sen, Aparna Sen got most of their inspirations while idlying on the chairs and sipping coffee over here
3. Bob Dylan started his career by singing in the Coffee shop


all these are just the tip of iceberg of what talks and thoughts around a Koffee table have done.
I might be sounding a advocate for Koffeee but there is something in the caffeine content which stimulates the grey cells or is it the relaxation of the other wise busy nerve endings - when we patiently relish the cup of coffee that has made the difference ?
So much so that in some corner of world - Koffee precedes deals and plans , as an instance in Arab world - one has to have the bitter Koffee which they call "gahwa" before inking a deal and denying the same would offend the host.
During the Civil war - Koffee was the breakfast, lunch and dinner - for Union Army , so much so that the soldiers would often chew these beans because they didnt have time to boil water and their rations were all blocked by the Confedarate Army.

There is some charm about Koffee -a tinge of rebellion. Am not sure if I am concluding this because I found coffee shops as meeting point for rebels or that the history over coffee is higlighted by wars that followed over it. But am not alone in this thought process. This seemingly innocent drink was banned several times - mostly because it was perceived to incite rebellion.
It was banned by Ethopian Church and also the Ottoman empire.

But we could relate these acts to more of frustation , where they could only punish coffee when they could not get hold of the rebels. So its more of a regressive behavior, akin to the way in which some toddlers start hitting themselves when denied of their demands.

But one thing that I could not help noticing was that coffee has become a great leveller and so are coffee shops. Imagine being at a typical coffee shop and you could end up sharing the table with a Jew, hindu, muslim or christian, talking on various subjects. And this has been the genesis of thoughts that we have been talking about.


Surely there is lot of storm brewing over the coffee cup.

A great Day has arrived......

I havent waited more anxiously for this day ever
At same time I wasnt sure if the day would grace me .. I was waiting for it like sailors long to see the land .. like the parched earth, which is assaulted by the hot summer sun , waits for the first showers...

And some one rightly said, you get it when you need it most.
The placement week had started and I had been preparing for that week since a year . The night outs , the snatching of hours from sleep for studies, the immersion in books than in boo*s, the abstinenance, the focus kept alive amidst the volley of distractions all around.... all of these were with one purpose to be what I intended to be - on one lonely winter night back in 2006.

The goal of graduating from a B school and realising the same by getting into a job carved out for the activities that i went through during the process, was stronger and it grew more stronger day by day

So when the day dawned and calender read 25th February, I was all agog. I began the day by sleeping .. coz TCS - the company of my dreams awaited me in the morning and I was bracing to be at my best.... The preparations were the best I could muster ... and nothing now could improvise it .. I missed few mock exams and interviews .. blame them for (---- no we pick up this topic some time later ---)

So as I cuddled myself in the arms of sleep - I was already into it when i was awoken by some one pushing me hard enough to jostle me up from the slumber and throw me from the bed..
Seems YES bank had something to offer for me .. i turned around and found that history read
25th March: 01: 30 A.M

The drama went on for quite some time and then i decided I would not get what I had been waiting for, though the reward of turning away from TCS and accpeting YES bank offer , was outstandingly lucrative ...

so I said NO to YES bank and then went back to sleep... woke up .. the day was bright... reflecting my hope and I was so impatient to get into TCS that I rushed to the interview sooner than needed.. Was 2nd one in order to be interviewed. and then hell broke looose..

TCS was unwilling to accept a TCSer -I was the one who had been weaving his dreams along with TATA'S vision and had been giving his best all the time at the school just to make it a better more competative corporation ..

But then fate and more than that Mr. Ameya @ TCS played foul and I was not picked up ...
A shock encompassing mental and spiritual domains .... I could not answer the "why " of it ... even after hours of introspection ...

4 days went by -- whirlwind and slowest at same time .. Could not seep into my own self -- was detached and smile seemed to evaporate from my face ... Appeared for few companies -- Reliance being one of them,,,,,,

But the placement week was about to end .. and nothing had paid off ...
The doors were closed for CTS, CEB, HCL, Wipro, Satyam and am still counting ....
The results of Reliance was not out and sometime I was toying with the idea of joining the Infy BPO...
But then as the day ended on 29th Feb .. the spirit inside me was all soaked... it was spineless and was seething for mercy and hope ..
Hope was the key word.. it was not visible and vibrant but gave the strength to keep me in sane limits .. the voice to fight and keep the momentum on was alive ...
Nonethless one could not but surrender to the gloom --- the friendly concerns were there but little could they do to revive me ...

I slept like a log on the week end (29th Feb ) and then woke up ... zombied with the idea to go to PSA to have some decent food .. and I was at downstairs waiting for the group to assemble when the news for which I had a hopeless and seemingly endless wait, happened ..
I had been selected by Reliance and in a moment the me - was back in form ...
The wait, despair, hopelessness, fear was so much laughable .. but I knew when you are in .. you dont seem to realise the same ..

This was the most deseparate moments of my life and has taught me one great principle " Never ever to set a journey with out a plan and back iup .. Adventure and Thrill are sometimes less wanted and career path is one such journey where I would now let my head rule rather than heart " --- The lonely winter night of 2006 had injected in me a huge drive to move on and reach a lofty target -- but how and why was never planned , and I was wild enough to set for in the journey ---- " Will I do it the next time ??? " No says my head and heart ( and it is very rare to see them in unision ) but who knows what would they dictate some day later ....

Also memories, I believe, is like Vision.The nearer they are the larger they seem. So this moment migth go down as the most memorable/ most challenging times I faced/ most waited moments/ most cherishable moments.. soon to be dwarfed by something which happens in future.. The event in future might not be as grand as this is .. but certainly the proximity would give it an inflated look .. so till that moment arrives .. let the aura remain ...